"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours… In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness." -Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

In my opinion, the first step towards living the "life which he has imagined" is the realization that one can't have everything one desires in life. It is impossible to live in the mountains, on the ocean, in a culturally-rich city, away from congestion, near family, close to work for both partners, in the ideal city for career purposes, close to good friends, etc.

My belief is that overall happiness in life is the cumulative value of many different variables. Several of these variables are mutually exclusive for most people. For example, good friends might live on one coast while family lives on the other. The perfect job may exist a long commute from the ideal community and may require long hours which detracts from family time. Living close to nature might mean sacrificing the cultural explorations offered by living in the city, etc.

I also believe that the choice of where to live changes with different stages in life. For example, for a young, single person who has always lived in a small town, life in a big city (such as L.A.) might maximize the happiness equation (at least it did for me). That same person, once married and with a child, might not want anything to do with a big city.

The idea that not all happiness variables can be maximized also raises the idea of choosing what one wants to be "great" at, "good" at, "mediocre" at, or "poor" at. For example, a distinguished surgeon once told my medical-school sister that one cannot be both a great surgeon and a great parent (due to the time commitment of being a cutting-edge surgeon, 80+ hours/week in his opinion). I would argue that many things in life could be looked at in a similar light; after all we each only have 24 hours a day.

To further explore the concept of cumulative happiness I have defined 11 variables that bring me the most happiness in life:

- relationship with Alison (and our future child)
- close friends (who unfortunately are very spread out across the country/world)
- close family (Mom, Dad, Susan & Thomas, Grandma, Ali's Mom, Dad, brother, and grandparents)
- career (meaningful, stimulating, work that contributes to a greater good and provides for my basic needs in life)
- adventure (international travel, new experiences, spontaneous explorations, access to wild country)
- part of a community (taking part in community events, volunteering)
- intellectual stimulation (learning something new that interests me, philosophizing, exposure to new ideas)
- spirituality/solitude (remote backpacking, meditation, learning more about native people's beliefs and other religions, easy access to quiet time)
- living close to nature (backpacking, hiking, fishing, hunting, birdwatching, ideally a walk every day in the woods, backyard wildlife)
- creativity (music, painting, writing, photography, gardening, tanning)
- health (eating healthy, hiking, biking, weightlifting, yoga, etc.)

If each of these variables were given a theoretical maximum rating of 10, the state of "perfect" happiness would rate 110 (10 for each of the 11 variables I have identified). As I stated earlier, maximizing each variable is impossible in real life, due to the mutual exclusivity of several of the variables (at least for me). I have rated my current cumulative happiness as such:

After hearing that I moved from Montana or California to Iowa, many people ask how I could ever move away from the mountains/ocean into the corn belt. While I do miss the backyard access to remote hiking, fishing, and hunting spots, or the daily surf outing before work; the benefits greatly outweigh the costs. (I once wondered how I could ever survive without the ocean out my front balcony.) The cost of living is very reasonable here in rural Iowa, and as a result Alison & I are able to afford a house on 5 acres a few miles outside of town (which would be prohibitively expensive anywhere near Missoula, MT or Newport Beach, CA). We also live much closer to family; I have seen my parents and grandma several times in the past few months, whereas before I saw them once or at most twice a year. Alison's family is even closer, and family dinners/parties are a possibility any day of the week, not just on holidays or vacations as before. (One nice thing I've discovered about living close to family is that now, instead of using most of my "vacation" or non-work time to travel to visit far-off family, I can now use that time to travel to other parts of the country/world.) We also have the opportunity to make a real difference in the small community where we live, which hasn't always been the case in other places where I've lived.

Many factors of my happiness are independent of my location, I think that is one reason I have truly been happy anywhere I have ever lived - from Kansas to Ohio to Mexico to California to Florida to Montana to Iowa. Activities such as reading philosophy, painting, healthy living, and quiet time can take place anywhere. Other variables, such as living close to all (or even a majority) of my friends is impossible no matter where I live since they are so spread out across the country.

With this essay I don't want to imply that happiness should always be defined on a numeric scale, or that one should constantly put numbers on their current state of being. The intention of this exercise is to take a broader look at each piece of happiness that contributes to the whole. For me it has provided insight into what brings me happiness and why, I hope it does the same for you.